The Choice Is Yours

A thirst for books, an undying love for various characters and a desire to be buried under books always- this is what drives many students to take up English Literature after school. I am one of them. But before I reached my decision and was firm that I would do Literature, I was confused and in doubt. Not because I doubted my love for the subject or thought I would not do well, but because I knew how the world would react and how they would look at me. These are my true thoughts and feelings. The reaction I got from people when I told them I was sitting for the entrance exam was a trailer of what I’d be getting later on. When people would ask me what I planned to do, I’d tell them I am preparing for Bachelor of Business Studies and they would exclaim loudly and say “that is a very good course”. But then I would add that I’m also preparing for the English entrance exam, they would say “oh, you want to be a teacher?” in a dry voice, with a smirk. Or if not that then they would say in a dismissive voice “what can you do further after English.” They feared I’d have no choices in/for the future except thankless minimalistic jobs.

A point came when I thought I’d do B.Com and be done with it, life ahead would be all set and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Then the cut offs came and when my parents asked me if I was sure about B.Com, I said no and told them I wanted to do Literature. And they didn’t argue with me, they didn’t question my decision. They knew where my interests lay and what would make me happy. And I took admission in the course I wanted.  They supported me. Thankfully.

Now I am not worried about those people and their thinking. I am not concerned with what they say about my future because now I know those people don’t know anything. Anyone who is half educated would know that in today’s world there is no longer that question of what one will you do in the future. Anybody and everybody can survive out there. If people are unaware of what the world has evolved into nowadays, then they have no right to poke their elongated noses in these affairs. An educated person who has done a course in literature can easily earn more than those who start at the basic level in some management related job. There are various avenues open for literature students- MBA , advertising, public relations, language related jobs, journalism (print and electronic), editing, university teacher, school teacher, translation and interpretation after learning another language, web designing and creative writing- to name a few. 

Now I really have to say- I’m spoilt for choices.

;-) :D

P.S: To be honest I don't understand why one job is looked down upon and the other one highly revered. Every job is a form of work and work requires energy and power (both mental and physical). So why is it such a bad thing if one earns less than the other? I agree money is a VERY important factor but is not the ONLY factor. If you are happy doing doing what you like and enjoy it, you have more than just those revered green notes. You are content and happy and enjoy life while working. The choice is obviously yours.

Bubbly

So many bubbles erupting inside me and so many butterflies taking rounds in the pit of my stomach. I feel happy, elated and excited after ages. Since coming back from Majkhali (where I had gone for a vacation) I had not been myself for various reasons. All those reasons are just too monotonous to even mention now. Some thing was just wrong and it felt wrong and it felt as if there was a barrier that was not letting the happiness pass. Though i had discussed my career options with my parents in Majkhali as I had planned, I was not entirely happy with the outcome. But now I know what I would like to do. Now I am more confident. A smile can be seen lurking on my face and a certain level of excitement and hope is perceptible to anyone who sees me or reads my texts or talks to me on phone or whatever. I am happy. That's it. Happy.
Funny what a conversation on the phone with your best friend, a few words showing confidence and exactly what you want to hear and a novel can do to you. Yes, these are the factors which helped bring back this smile and happiness. To these two wonderful people (S & P), I thank you both from the bottom of my heart. :D

So Much For My Happy Ending

So many plans and so many ideas. I had thought so much about how i would be meeting all my friends once I am back from Majkhali where I was going for a family vacation.

But it so happened that the very next day I cut my arm and the next day developed an allergy just around the wound. And to add to this pathetic state of affairs, I had to get an injection. Now that allergy has developed so much that the doctors are confused what it really is. :/

Now thanks to all this I can not go out anywhere, all my plans have now gone down the drain and I am on house arrest. But even if I had the choice of going out I wouldn't because it would be more than pathetic to have dirty, disgusted and torturous looks thrown at me for subjecting people to my 'allergy'. So I'm now a lonely girl who has only books, computer, phone and television for company. :/ :/

Another thing pissing off my already pissed off mind is how people are so self involved and uncaring to understand one's pain and agony. I have a real problem here and some think I'm just over hyping things. Well, they sure haven't gone through what I am going through. I feel like scratching my arm like crazy and tearing off the skin. The irritation and pain and the deadly itch is beyond my control. And on top of that 4 medicines make me cranky. But even after 1000 texts from me explaining what is the problem and how it is screwing up my mind, they like to believe it is my mood swings. So let it be that, I honestly don't give a damn now. I have better things to worry about. :/ :/ :/ 

Now to add to all this, I have just been informed that this allergy of mine is most probably not an allergy. It is some disease I've caught from somewhere. And for that I need to go to another doctor and might just have to get a few more injections. :/ :/ :/ :/

Sometimes, the one person we thought we'd like to keep around us for the rest of our lives ends up being the last person we want to talk to. There are some really good times when you promise each other never to fight and never to have an argument. But when the bad times come, you don't know what hits you and you stand there fighting, all those promises forgotten. But it's not one sided, both are equally involved in it. But you should always knows what to say and when and how to control that blabbering mouth. Because that is when the damage is done. Words said in anger are most of the time true, no matter how much you deny it later. And when i reach my saturation point where the brain says "no more!", that is when you realize you are wrong.. But now it is too late. Over a year has been lost in this ridiculousness and now it is time to move on. Now when I have decided to take a stand and I am strong, you can't come can tell me not to do it. There are things which you do not understand and don't even try to understand. Your behaviour is not my responsibility. Giving me the excuse that it's your nature doesn't work. If that is your nature, then being happy and carefree is mine. And these exactly what you are not letting me be. One second you decide to fight because it suits your mood and the other second you come back talking as if nothing happened. That is not how it works. Giving vent to your feeling just to take out your anger isn't how you are supposed to behave with people you call friends. After a point, it gets too much to handle. Everything does not revolve around you and my world specially does not. So it is not going to be according to you anymore. We won't talk just because you want to. We won't fight just because you want to get rid of your anger. We won't forget everything instantly just because you have nobody else.
Not anymore. Not now. I'm done. Just because you are bored in your vacation and don't have anything or anyone else, it does not mean you pretend everything is goody-goody between us. Because it is not and it won't be again.

Exam Period

5 exams in almost 25 days. One does get tired during such a hectic schedule. Had just so much to do the whole time, was busy like a bee. The gap between two exams  was for 15 days and I used them so efficiently. I had a movie marathon where I watched 10 movies in 2 days and wrote almost 4 blog entries. Then I watched Vampire Diaries on net all day long throughout the 'holidays' and got hooked onto it. I also wrote extensively in my journal and made broad plans about my upcoming trip just after the exams. I planned all that I have to take and what all I would do there. Then I watched a lot of television too to catch up on some of my favourite t.v shows and also watched some more movies. Oh yes, every night I watched two movies along with my sister, while eating butter popcorns and drinking Pepsi. Then I also used to roam around the house a lot and that helped me in my knowledge of the place, like i got to know exactly what is there in the house to eat and in what quantity so much so that my mother used to ask me about it. Now this is something, isn't it?
Then I also spent my time in lying on bed and staring at the ceiling. This provides great satisfaction and you can introspect as much as you want. It's another thing that I used to check my phone for some texts every five seconds, which obviously weren't there as my friends were so idle that they used to even forget texting. Then I also discovered what a bliss it is to spend an extra half an hour standing under the shower in the evenings, letting cold water run down your back, so relaxing. And I can possibly not forget to mention that I ate a lot during this period. As I was supposed to diet and workout during this period, I realized that all the work that I'm doing requires efforts and energy so I should eat properly and then hit the gym when exams get over.
I did study on the last day of the holidays and one day before the exam but then at 1am I realized it is more important to watch a movie than study for the exam at 9am. So then too I was true to my inner self and did what was required of me.
Now time had literally flown and I didn't realize one bit how I passed my time, it was all so hectic! But whatever it was, I think I worked hard and deserve some credit.

P.S: I have my last exam tomorrow and I though it absolutely necessary to update my blog this very moment. I know, I am very dedicated. :D